[originally published in Ploppy Pants #10 but long since sold out]
Ok Jeeves lets go right back to the beginning, you’ve boasted to me about seeing Saxon and Motorhead within weeks of each other at Dundee’s Caird hall but also talked at length about your love of early punk bands like Johnny Mopehead, The Valves and Slaughter and the Dogs so what were ya, a punk or a metalhead? What was it that first drew you to the noisy side of music?
Aye start with an easy one. In my heart its punk, I was about 14/15 when punk first reached the east coast o Scotland. I was already pretty well into stuff like Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy and Led Zepplin, but not - an I know this will come as surprise to you - Deep Purple and Rainbow- could nae hack the keyboards, I guess I had already developed a leaning to the noisy side from the glam rock of the early seventies, and bands like Slade, Alice Cooper, The Sweet and T.Rex. they kind of pathed the way to the heavy rock bands above. So by 76 pretty much everything I was listening to was from the past, not the present, Listening to the music of older kids in a way kind of felt a little like having to wear hand me down clothes. Towards the end of 76 I was given a copy of the first Damned LP, its one of the few things I have managed to hold onto over the past third of a century, its battered to buggery and jumps like a jack rabbit, but it’s not an understatement to say that album changed my life and I would be quite happy to have it as a gravestone. Over the next 18 months there was a wave of fucking awesome new music flooding out. Me and my other 'Punk' friend would cycle from Carnoustie to Monifieth every weekend, dump our bikes at another 'punk' friends house walk to Barnhill to catch a city bus to Dundee for 16p return and then hot foot it to Brucies records in Reform Street. Brucies was one of a wee chain of independent Scottish record shops, think there was one in the Deen and two in Eburg. between them they would rotate 4 new punk releases over the course of a month, each week a different one from that months selection was in the Dundee store, 45s for 45p they were called I think, it was all small label stuff from Rough Trade, Rabid Records, Illegal, Chiswick, Stiff, Depford Fun City, Step Forward. So as well as the bands like the Pistols The Ramones and the Clash who of course were on major labels you got access to bands like The Panik, Ed Banger and the Nosebleeds, The Cortinas and of course the Valves, who were from Eburg. In fact Zoom records who put out the first Valves single 'For Adolf’s only' was set up by Brucies records shop. There were a good few record shops in Dundee then, some better than others of course , me and my mates would trawl round them all looking for anything vaguely punk but king of them was Grouchos record exchange out the Perth road. It smelt of hippies and they always played Steely Dan, but it became a Mecca for rare small label punk stuff. It was from there that I bought the 12'' Motorhead Motorhead single. Before the NWOBHM was invented how else could you categorise Motorhead? They kinda seemed punk in a way to me anyway, they admittedly didn't have the 'proper punk look' with their long hippy hair but then neither did the Ramones. They were loud and noisy and Gaye Advert and Johnny Moped both wore a Born to Lose badge so that was good enough for me. Yeah the Caird Hall, what a shit place for rock bands! There were other venues but mostly licensed, which was problem being so young, and looking it! But I did see quite a few brilliant shows there toward the end of the seventies. The Clash, The Buzzcocks, Richard Hell and the Void Oids, Joy Division, Adam and the Antz, As the NWOBHM appeared bands like Girlschool, Anglewitch, Iron Madien, Praying Mantis, Saxon and of course Motorhead began playing there as well. I wasn't fussed as long as it was loud and fast I would go. However the metal bands weren’t really known for their social awareness, an as the eighties wore on and the metal bands became more spandex and poodle haired I kind of lost interest in them for a bit.
As far as I know you weren’t involved seriously in any bands in the 80’s and early 90’s but were quite active in the traveller/free party lifestyle. What was it that drew you to this way of life and do ya have any favourite stories from this time?
I first became attracted to the free party/traveller thing because of the live split album by Alternative TV and hippie free anarchists Here and Now, 'What you see is what you are' On the back of the cover was photograph of various members of the bands standing in front of a hippie bus in a field. It looked pretty cool to me, In fact following on from above I felt the DIY ethic of punk had stronger echoes in the whole free hippie thing than most of the metal bands of the time. In 1984 myself and my flat mates - the self styled Arbroath Road Aardvark Physic Youth - headed down to what was to the last big Stonehenge free peoples festival. It was nothing like anything that exists today in the UK A makeshift town of up to 60,000 with its own bakeries, coffee shops, and bars. Forget T in the park and all that Rock Ness shite this was the real deal as far as festivals go. No cops, no private security, no corporate sponsors. As well as the main stage there was a heap of smaller stages dotted all around the site. I remember one band called Eat Shit, who had managed to blag their way onto a hippie stage, they kind of sounded like a bunch of guys who had just decided to start a band on the spot, it certainly didn't sound like they were doing anything rehearsed, just noise and swearing, it was funny watching the hippies trying to get them off stage, that one night I must hae seen them getting turfed off 3 or 4 different stages. Of course the fun kind of came to an abrupt halt by the next year, when Thatcher said no to dirty people and the riot cops, still pumped up from cracking the skulls of the Miners- tore into the men, women and children of the Peace Convoy at the Battle of the Bean field. They had been hit on route to try and take the henge site at the start of June that summer, by the time the part timers like myself got down the remnants of the convoy were parked up in Snavernake forest trying to repair their trucks and buses. There was bit of a strange atmosphere like a refugee camp really, very subdued, not surprising really. Eventually the site moved over to Westbury and we spent a couple of weeks parked up on top of the White Horse hill. Things picked up there despite the hill being ringed by cops, eventually it became more like a festival and Hawk wind with Nic Turner played under a tarp stretched between a couple of buses, other good memories from around that time include Culture Shock play on a makeshift stage at 'anging Langford, and stealing trout from the nearby fish farm which was said to be owned by Roger Daltry. That summer I 'retired' from proper work and spent the next couple of years picking fruit and hops, cashing in scrap metal and other various black economy activities. I spent some time in Amsterdam and London as well as a series of chaotic travelling sites around Scotland including the infamous Dam in Leven Fife where there were around 18 other guys each with two dogs and a taste for the golden carlies! Had some nice old motors around then, a 1963 Ford Thames 400E , a couple of BMC FG's and a 'so ugly it was beautiful' 1959 Guy Vixen ex mobile library. But as you know I am more of a Transit man these days.
You were also involved in the festival in Lethem in the early 90’s (sorry Jeeves I’ve no idea how ya write the name of that hill!) which came to an abrupt halt with the criminal justice bill in 1994. Can you tell us a little about your experiences with this, how you came to be involved and how you felt after the festival was effectively banned?
That would be Dunnichien Hill, the Pictish free peoples festival. Held around the 20th of May each year to mark the of the battle of Nechtansmeer 695AD. That was when the Picts defeated the Angles and drove them back down the country to what is now the North of England. I was there the first year when it was held on the 1300th anniversary. That year known Skye bridge campaigner and road tax avoider Robbie the Pact, put on some bands in Letham village hall. It was free gig if you already had a Pictish free state badge, an if you didn't you could buy one for a quid . There was camping organised in the village green but that wasn't hard core enough for the Arbroath Road Crew, so we set up camp on the hill itself. No music that first year just a bonfire and a ghetto blaster which was fine enough really. The next year we done the same and a few more people we had met the year before joined us. I missed the third year as I was staying in London then but in 88 we set of in convoy under the cover of dark from the Dam in Leven and took the hill. Robbie the Pict had steeply increased his prices for the bands in the hall who were in the main pretty tired sounding pub rock type bands. Another crew came up from Fife and we got our first live bands playing up the hill that year, Patrol for sure and as far as I can mind Backlash as well. In 89 a wee crew of us got more organised with a better PA and stage, each year we got more and more sorted by the early 90's we were getting a hard core of around 150 to 200 regulars coming from all corners of Scotland. Robbie got more and more pissed off as the hill festival grew and eventually gave up the village hall gigs. One year we hired the hall ourselves for a benefit gig in support of the local villagers campaign to halt a proposed super quarry that would see half of the west hill disappear. After the hall gig which on police insistence had to finish by 10.30pm we managed to break down all the gear truck it up the hill and got the stage up there running again just after midnight! We were cooking in those days! There was real mix of bands used to play, folk rockers like Pure Blind Panic and the Nyah Fearties as well the likes of Sedition and Japs Eye. As well as Dunichien we were organising a number of other fairly regular festivals around Scotland from early May to Late October, -yeah man Beltane to Samhain. Initially these were concentrated around Angus, Rossie Muir outside Montrose being one of the largest in early July, Gallowshill around the summer solstice, Balumbie at the back of Dundee early May (Beltane) and the Froickhiem freekoot one Samhain. People who came from the West coast started to hold festivals as well giving birth to Midgie Death at Clunie Dam, The Glenuig sheep worrying trials, and a few down Lochgilphead way in Argyll- at one of which we by chance bumped into Julian Cope who agreed to come along and do a set on our stage in the woods by Kilmartin standing stones.
By the mid 90's there were at least 4 or 5 festivals to look forward to over the spring/summer months. They became a pretty major part of my life, almost everyone I knew around then I pretty much knew from the festivals, it was good social buzz. As word spread of the festivals more people of course began to come along. It wasn't too bad to begin with, the new faces were being introduced by someone who was already going, so there was a sense of mutuality if you know what I mean. As the numbers grew the owner of the hill, did try to stop us by building a earth embankment along the side of the road to block access to the site, but we dug it out. The new owner tried the same the next year but much bigger with a ditch on the other side which again got dug out and filled in to allow the motors on. I think in all we dug out three barricades in total. One year when the cops tried to get tough, we blocked all the access roads up and around the hill with vans trucks buses and caravans. The cops drafted in support from Dundee to try and gain control but people were walking up the hill with shovels and pick axes, I think it was around 1am when the word came down that the barrier was dug out and cops had to submit and let us all up the hill.
What helped in a way was the media had a total black out about the festivals, especially Dunichien. However in 95 or 6, the year John Smith the labour leader died, some freelance guy who was up covering the funeral in Eburg had got wind of the festival that weekend. he turned up on the hill on the Thursday when we were taking the site and next morning it was in the local papers about the 'Picts' up the hill. That year we doubled from a fairly stable attendance of around 350 to over 700. it was still good but the writing was on the wall, the site was too small to really deal with those numbers, there was only a very narrow, steep and twisty single track road leading up to the site and it got pretty jammed.
In 97 the shit really did hit the fan. With more and more people going and space at a premium it was becoming necessary to take the hill earlier and earlier. There were a few competing stages by then a couple of techno stages and a reggae one as well as our punkathon stage. it started off a good year, Oi Polloi, The New Town Grunts and Beergut 100 were a few band i can remember from then. We had set up a good 10 day before normal. The local papers started making a bit of a thing by and then it was picked up by the nationals and tabloids. Most of the stories centred around the fact we were not real Picts just dole scrounging layabouts that kind of thing. The daily star had the best take i think with the headline HIPPY HORROR on their first page. People started swarming in, including a series of techno crews from the south with ridiculously large PA's and the then popular rave drug special K, ketamine Over the course of the third weekend of the festival the volume must have gone up from around 3/4 k in total to around 30k plus there were a lot of seriously deranged people stumbling about. Over the weekends there were around a thousand people wandering about the hill site. The close mutual bond that had existed was gone, The cops attitude which had been pretty relaxed up to around the second weekend, totally changed. They stormed the site at the start of the third weekend and seized the PA of a dodgy bunch who had turned up from London and set up at the edge of the site. Things got a bit messy really, and there was a bit of stone throwing battle. The cops closed the site down, if you went off you were off, no return, Plus they checked you against a photo album they had taken of the stone throwers. A lot to the Travellers up from Englandshire moved on mass to a coastal town and all hell broke loose over the next few weeks with even more cops being drafted in from as far as the Thames Valley. I think for those of us who had been involved over the years we knew it was all over. Right enough the next year the cops wasted no effort in stopping the show and used the Public order act to the full. They spend a reported 250 K on the operation which included road blocks, night sights, listening devices, dogs and tow trucks. It’s sad that from the 1000 odd the year before only 30 or 40 people made any attempt to take the hill that year. We camped out in the village square after the cops closed the pubs. A thunder storm started and there was a power cut, I think the cops thought we would fuck off but we stayed, the locals were coming out and giving us cups of tea and letting the people with kids in to their houses to dry off. That was a total contrast to the aggressive attitude the cops were displaying for sure. The festival in fact brought a lot of business to the village shops and pubs and the vast majority of the locals welcomed us. Anyway under the cover of the torrential rain and dark myself and 7 others did manage to sneak through the field up to the hill that year. Again the next year only a handful of people made it up. A group of us tramped the 5 miles form a mates house in Forfar, it was a kind of symbolic thing really just to get up there at that time of year and have few beers and a bonfire. The whole festival circuit fell apart after that with the exception of midgie death, which is still going on I believe, at least it was the last time I was there a couple of years back, but it is 100% techno now. Perhaps it’s time to reintroduce the punkathon stage again!
Your first band Fudrot developed around this time out of this festival scene, how did the band come together and why did you go through so many name changes (bastard son of fud, fastard etc) what was the general reaction to the band at the time and what are your feelings about the band now looking back? Were you the only constant member?
Although the Public order act was in force the cops never really used it much to begin with but a good few bands around at the time were too scared of having their gear impounded to bring it, some seemed totally nervous about even playing at an open air illegal festival anyway. In the early days we did struggle to get bands who were prepared to play, apart from a few headcases from Fife of course! it wasn't too bad at Dunichien or even Rossie Muir (where one year we had 17 different bands on over the weekend) as they were pretty well established and kind of had set dates and locations. But at some of the other ones we would often end up just having various people jamming or just end up playing tapes. Fudrot w
as born at one festival where we had built a stage equipped it with a pa and some back line and yet hardly any bands turned up. It was there I met a bunch of people from Aberdeen including Mark Fud, We were talking about how good it would be to have a 'house' band for the festivals, like a bunch of people who were going to be at the festival anyway but played in a band, would work the stage and were happy to play anytime of the night or day. It turned out Mark played guitar in a band with his house mates, they had all the ge
ar including a drum kit but no drummer. I had not really played the drums for around 10 years at that point but suggested we have a jam together, that is kind of how Fudrot were born. We played every festival after that as well as a few gigs in Aberdeen, Fife Dundee and Eburgh . We were very basic and messy probably not much good really but it was fun. I think still think our coupling of Tube disasters with Doh a Dear from the Sound of Music was inspired. Fudrot kind of fell apart around the same time as the last Dunichien festival. Styme the guitarist and myself then teamed up with Puggy and Louise to form Bastard son of Fud . We did do a few old Fudrot songs to begin with hence the name. We certainly played far more gigs than with Fudrot I think the name change helped a little but not much! We brought a couple of demo tapes, 'Attack of the skeletal shirt lifters' and 'rural revolt' which began my long term relationship with Captain Tom's recording studios in Aberdeen. Fastard were born when Styme fucked off to NYC to drink beer and break his leg. At our last gig as BSOF we met Pete who had newly arrived in the Deen from Oz. We started jamming together with Puggy. In the first three months we got a set together, recorded a demo and played our first gig - with Code 13 in Leven Fife. Pete then left the Deen to go touring around Europe with his girlfriend and when they returned that winter we picked back up where we had left off. Fastard was fun and intense, in 12 months we done a lot really. Playing all around the UK and Ireland, as well as gigs in the Deen, Skye, Eburgh and Glasgow, and we got as far as Finland where we played the Puntalla festival. We even got a couple of 7 inch splits out. We split at the end of 2000 after out UK tour with Pax Americana as Pete had to go home for his tea.
Around this same time you started to get involved in driving bands such as Oi Polloi and Bloodshot in mainland Europe. What was it like touring the punk circuit at this time, especially the more eastern countries, what were the things that struck you most at the time and how would you compare the situation then with the situation today? Any good horror stories from these early tours?
I had always done a bit of driving for bands so when Bloodshot bought themselves a Merc 508 they asked if I could drive it for them. I knew Bloodshot as Duane the bassist was putting on gigs at Cellar 35 in the Deen, he sometimes let Fudrot play but i suspect we weren’t really PC enough for him! I also suspect he was a bit intimidated by the size of the bus he had just bought. I was used to big motors and found it a dream to drive, i loved that bus. We took her to Poland on that first tour. I believed Duane when he told me he had all the necessary tackle you need to keep a motor like that on the road. Unfortunatly he didn’t! We were heading north to Poland through Germany when we started to hear a nose from the back wheel, turned out the wheel nuts were coming slack. Duane had changed the tyres before we set off but didn't know you should retighten the nuts after a few miles. Anyway he jumps out and before I was able to stop him he was cranking up the nuts without jackin the bus up. Of course he had snapped off a wheel stub before I managed to stop him. I asked him for the jack and he pulls out this puny little bottle jack which was no way capable of lifting the fully packed bus. I had to drive really carefully till we got the first gig and managed to get all the right gear sorted out. Duane sold the bus as soon we got back to Oi Polloi and I kind of was included in the deal. I really enjoyed my days - and nights- in the old battle bus with Deek, Calum, Matt and Ade, aka the Luuurve Doctor. I think we done around 4 or 5 tours, all round northern europe. The merc was a lovely old bus, she kind of let you fix her when she was broke, by that I mean when something went wrong it was always something simple to fix and it was always the first thing you looked at as well! Having said that some of the drives were horrendous. I was the only driver and the Oi Polloi schedule wasn’t that forgiving. Hearing things like 'it's a 750 km drive to the next gig and it’s an afternoon show so we should head off after the gig tonight’ were a bit too common from Deeks mouth- apart from the usual filth!
The most mental night I think we endured was the gig in Estonia where Oi Polloi were sharing the bill with the two Finnish bands we were touring with - Speedapple and Ollittila- mas well as three local bands. One of these bands turned out to be out and out Nazi’s. Yeah and so were most of the audience. The night descended into chaos by the time Oi Polloi took the stage. Fights were breaking out left right and centre. We decided to beat a retreat but first of all had back the bus out of a narrow courtyard. The Finnish van got a window stoved in but we faired a bit better and got out unscathed. it was bizarre though, one guy was at the driver’s window thanking us for coming and giving me a bottle of vodka where as on the passenger side one of the Nazi skins was trying to kick his way through the door! Bar staff were out with big sticks beating fuck out of the skins which was helpful. I remember one of the skins standing in the road of the bus holdin a bottle which I was sure he was going to chuck at the window- I mean if I was him I would have! I aimed the bus right at him and put my foot down, that made him shift alright!
There was also the time I reversed the bus over what I thought was a pavement in Germany and the slabs broke under the weight of the back wheels, Turned out that part of the path was in fact a cover for the sewage pipe which came flooding up out the hole as the back wheels slipped further and further into the pit. We did get it out but was pretty messy I can tell you!
Comparing countries like Poland then and now it’s obvious that the standard of living has become far more Westernised. I remember speaking to people there back then, there was still a sense of optimism that a new third way could be found, an alternative to the corrupt communism they had known as well as to the even more corrupt capitalism of the west. I suppose it was kind of inevitable really but we all have Tesco’s now. The thing that struck me most at the gigs in Poland with Bloodshot was the huge cross section of kid types at the gigs not just punx, but 'normal' looking kids as well. There seemed to be less factionalism, people were going simply cause there was a gig on. There was a very strong energy there then, lots of activity going on. Lots of good bands, Homomilita, Disgusting Lies, Post Regiment, to name a few. I guess as the EU has opened its doors this energy has been let out. Eburgh for example over the past few years has seen a large influx of people from that area which has re-energised the scene a lot.
After the free party scene slowed down you seem to have got involved in organising gigs in Aberdeen, especially around the Dr Drakes venues. What drew you into becoming a bigshot promoter, dreams of money and fame, repaying favours to folk that had given Fastard gigs, a desire to develop the Aberdeen scene or what?
Need to go back to Bastard son of Fud for the start of that. As mentioned before Duane from Bloodshot was putting on the gigs in the Cellar 35, some good stuff as well, DropDead, Cress, Active Minds. I think it started to get a bit too wild for the bar owners and eventually they said no more. When BSOF came along the only way we could really get any gigs in the Deen was to put them on ourselves so Puggy and I began Good News to the Sick and started putting bands on in the East Neuk which is well known to your good self Ploppy. This was before the interweb had creeped its way into our everyday lives Gigs were sorted out by the phone or the quaint practice of writing a letter and sending it by post, how old school is that! We put gigs on there for just over a year before finding out about a place called Drakes in the Castlegate, a tiny little bar which seemed rammed with only 30 people, it was free entry had a house PA and the bar gave us £80 for two bands or £90 for three. With a raffle of merch donated by the bands playing as well as distros we could pull in another 30/40 quid so everyone got looked after. As BSOF developed into Fastard people in the Deen still didn’t like us enough to offer us gigs so we just had to continue with Good news to the Sick. There was a good bunch of bands who played the 'old Drakes' Cress, Scatha, Debris, Bus Station Loonies, Harum Scarum, Petrograd, Dread 101, Molotov Cocktail. Disorder, Zemzesluc, Oi Polloi, Active Minds, In Decades Decline, Cold War. Ruthless, Radioactive toys, Runnin Riot, Sawn Off, Unkind, Pax Americana, The Dangerfields, Swellbellys, Assert, Beergut 100, to name a few. I think had been putting on gigs at the old Drakes for around four years when the owner, Fabizio retired, his daughter and a couple of others took out a lease on a place down by the harbour which became known as Dr. Drakes, so it was pretty much business as usual there as well. The money and glamour of being a big shot in the Deen scene was of course a big attraction but it never seemed to work out that way. Certainly putting on bands keeps you in touch with other like minded people and as we all know DIY is all about connecting with those kind of folk. But the bottom line was really I wanted to be able to go to gigs and hear stuff I like without having to travel to Eburg or wiegie-ville and I have always felt it would be worthwhile to be able to offer touring bands 4 or 5 well attended good paying gigs around Scotland. As you know I am more involved with gigs up in Elgin now, which can be a pretty good gig, an I am also keen to do more stuff in Inverness
The next band you were involved with were Filthpact who formed in 2004, and they became pretty ‘big’ within the scene pretty fast, what was the secret? As a member of your touring entourage I know there were a lot of on-tour antics but what were some of your favourites?
I don't know if we were that big really but we certainly got out there and got ourselves known. We crammed a lot of gigs into a short time really. Guess it was just the right point in the lives of those involved and we were all able to put the time in to the band that it needed plus we always had transport so were able to take up almost every gig that was offered to us. You get out what ya put in. Favourite memories include the naked homo erotic calendar photoshoot up on the Isle of Lewis, Capt. Skubba's antics in Berlin after the afternoon we spent in Halfords rock bar, being blasted by a fire extinguisher by French ned kids, Mitch gettin lovin drunk in Finland and of course the wine bottle up T-bags arse in Slovenia
Filthpact split up a few years ago now and your now battling away behind the kit in Gusto Mastivo who play a slightly more metal style than your past bands, was it time for something new? Whats on the cards with Gusto and where dya want to see the band going?
I think since Fastard there has always been that metal edge, there certainly was in Filthpact, but still with a punk core. I think it’s pretty much the same kind of mix with Gusto, except with a little more Rhinocore thrown in. Yeah it was time for something new after Filthpact, there was some personal stuff going on there towards the end, plus some of the newer stuff we were doing was sort of moving more towards the grindcore style that has I guess since developed into Ablach. I am a man of simple tastes and limited talent so the metalbreezeblock that is Gusto suits me just fine. We have recently just moved back up to being a 5 piece again with the addition of our third bassist. Iain. We 'broke' him the other week with his first public performance at the Island of Punk on Cramond island which what with all the gear carrying palaver and general drunkenness that involves is not a easy ride. However as I said that was the other week and he's still not packed us in, so looks like he could be a keeper! We had to do our first trip across to Europe earlier on this year without a bassist after Puggies (our first bassist) replacement left us a couple of days before we were due to leave! So it’s good to have a bassist again as it really fills out our sound, we just need to cure him of his travel sickness!
It’s been a pretty quite summer for us gig wise but for the future we have a few wee plans, hopefully back to Europe again next spring, and a few gigs towards the end of this year around Scotland and anywhere else we can sort out. We are also writing some new songs for recording including 'Cruzin wif da buzi boyz' our tribute to those all school monster legends of hipity hopity, Step On It.
Ok it’s pretty clear that you’ve attended a lot of gigs over the years so who are some of the worst bands you’ve had to endure, ya don’t need to name names but….
Fuck I can't even begin to remember... I am honestly not just being polite here, I am sure I must have seen some howlers, band who perhaps not quite ready to gig, or who are just having a bad night but I can't think of any! If I find a band are really not my cup of tea so to speak I tend to go and sit in the van an put the kettle on, I am not one for endurance really.
Also I know you have a boxer load of pant filling tales so if you’d like to enlighten my readers to one or two of yer brown eye disasters I’d be delighted to print them!
For sure I've got a shed load of those kinda tales, mainly follow throughts, you know early morning piss and wet fart that’s a bit too wet...but the best full blown shitting explosion has to be a good few years back in Auld Reekie. Had spent a pleasant few hours on the Guinness and had scoffed a few too many Asian sweets. I had gone for wee afternoon nap in the back of my truck which was parked up on Leith Walk not too far from my mates flat. I woke in dire need but of course I couldn't simply nip out an dig a hole as I might in a more rural location. And as I was entertaining a young lady friend...who was still sleeping... I decided against the old shitting in a bucket of water type evacuation more normally used in urban environs...or rainy days. So bare footed I nipped up the road to my mates place. He lived, of course, on the top floor of the tenement. The action of running up the four flights of stairs was putting a serious strain on my nipsy, every step constricted my poop tubes that little tighter, but I thankfully managed to reach the top floor without incident. After a few seconds of frantic hammering on the door I began to realise that my mate was out. So I hopped around on the landing for bit, to work out a plan, the only alternative I could come up with was to try the back green, so set off back down the four flights once more. The rapid decent was too great for my straining rectum and so by the time I managed to get to the back door the tortoise was well and truly emerging from hibernation. So there I was standing in the communal back green over looked by tenement windows on all sides with a pant load of poop. As I wasn't wearing any undercrackers my strides had taken the full blast, so I had no option other than take them off turn them inside out and give them a good shake. I cleaned up as best I could before putting the shitted up inside out trousers back on for the quick dash back up Leith Walk. I got back to the truck, took off the shitty strides and set about unblocking my trench, it was around then that my lady friend woke up. Obviously it was not a pretty site that greeted her and one I feel that was instrumental in the short lived nature of our relationship.
Ok Jeeves not to make you feel like a real old man but you have basically been into punk since almost day one, how have you seen things change over the years? Was there a ‘golden age’ for you or has each era had its good and bad points? Do ya wish it was ’77 all over again
Ah the golden age of punk, did it ever really exist? With so much new music coming out the summer of 77 was certainly a good time to be around, Perhaps more so if you were a teenager in London, but not as exciting on the east coast of Scotland though. Too young to get into pubs, getting kicked in by the barnhill soul boys every other weekend, still being at school, developing plukes, being shy and insecure around girls. No thanks I think I will leave the past where it is for now! Things were much more clear cut in those days though, punks were punks, metalers were metalers and so on, you knew where you stood I guess but it caused divisions, everything is much more mixed up these days and its better for it.
Finally, what does the future hold for Jeeves, are you a Lemmy type that’s gonna go on forever?
Auch, am sure I will die one day, hopefully not for a bit yet though.
Right man thanks for the interview, please write anything ya like below!
Think I have said more than enough, but cheers for givin me the space to ramble on